5 Great Ways for Moms to Get Out in #SanDiego

Being a mom doesn't mean that we can't get out and have fun anymore. It just means that we need to get a little creative to do so. Lucky for me, I live in a city filled with entertainment and a never-ending list of places to go and things to do.

Since my time away from the family is much valued but short lived, I need to make the most of it and really create great memories to hold me over until the next time I get out. Here are a few ways I like to enjoy my time away from the kids and family while enjoying the city I live in.

1. Happy Hour - 
Now happy hour is not the same as it was pre-kids. No longer are we heading to an upscale bar after work for a few drinks, appetizers, and some girl time. Happy Hour has now become any time the girls get together at a place with food without the kids.

Drinks may or may not happen but all we know is that we're eating a whole meal without having to feed another being. We also will be able to eat our meal while it's still hot and won't have to worry about asking for it to-go because of a tantrum. Meals away from the family means chit chat and girl time at its best... un-filtered!

2. Networking in Disguise - 
One of the best things about my life as a mom is the fact that I get to hang out with other cool moms all the time. And sometimes we get to network with each other finding out that we might be able to help each other more than we thought!

And one event that brings moms together to do just that are the SD Mom's Night Out events. They are an absolutely amazing way to relax, reconnect, and network with other moms in San Diego who you might not have known about. From Momtrepreneurs to bloggers to stay-at-home-moms looking for a great way to get out and explore. Each event is different and has something else to offer.

The next event is their one year anniversary and it isn't to be missed! Not only is it being held at Kin Spa, it also includes some amazing perks and goodies! To read more about the SD Mom's Night Out Anniversary Event, check out my post here.

Click here to purchase tickets for the event.

3. My Favorite Things - 
Every few months my mom friends and I get together for what we call a My Favorite Things party. We each bring 5 $6 items that we've dubbed as our favorite thing and we pass them out to each other (drawing names to choose who gets what). We eat and drink our favorite things too!

I love this type of event because it's low maintenance and it's a way to learn about things I might not have known about in daily conversations with my friends.  Our last Favorite Things party focused on our favorite kid items. And as you can imagine it was pretty hard to chose one item for $6 or less to share. But I was amazed again at the products that were shared and have fallen in love with a few new awesome things!

4. Playdates - 
Yes, I know. This technically is not getting away from the kids but my friends are awesome. And when we get together, we are able to mingle and chat while our kids play around us. Most of the time I'll host playdates at my home and just rope the kids off into certain parts of the house and yard. That way the moms can sit in one central location and chat without having to worry about what trouble our kids are getting into.

This option does require a little bit of work but the reward is much worth it. Not only do we each get to sit and enjoy adult conversations, we also get to tire our kids out so that when we do go home they (hopefully) take nice, long naps. Win-win!

5. Shopping - 
Whether it's for groceries or for clothes... shopping alone is always considered a great way to get out in my book. Not only do I get to enjoy some peace and quiet, I get to participate in one of my favorite activities... spending money!

While I love time with my kids, I don't love having to worry about my kids breaking everything within reach while we're out and about. I've learned that I'm a lot less stressed when I can go to a store alone and actually consider it relaxing to shop knowing that my kids are elsewhere having fun and not asking if they can have every.single.thing they see at the store. 

What do you do for your mom-time without the kids?

Disclaimer: This post is sponsored by SD Mom's Night out. I received two tickets for their SD Mom's Night Out Anniversary event in exchange for this post. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. 

Mom Haircuts

Every once in a while I peruse the search terms used to get to my blog. I've had a few expected ones and a few off the wall ones. The one I wasn't so sure about... "Mom Haircuts"

So I ask you... is this a mom haircut?

No, this isn't the picture that showed up under that search name but my haircuts are usually all the same since after having kids.

Sure, I used to have long, long hair that went past the middle of my back. But the only reason why I grew it that long was to be able to style it any way I wished for my wedding day.

And with the heat of living in San Diego I just couldn't bear to keep my long, long hair for too long.

I've decided that I need to define exactly what "Mom Haircuts" are so that I won't be placed in that category until I do, in fact, have a mom haircut. So I went to my trusted internet friends for their opinions. Here's what they had to say:

Source: Tulsa Kids

"When I think of a mom hair cut it's a chin length bob the curls under at the ends." - Sarah of East 9th Street

"Two of my blogging friends have it and it's the same one Sarah is talking about, lol. I'm growing mine out and it's going through a "mom cut" phase... :/ A little shorter than [the picture above]" - Mickey of A Helicopter Mom

"Crap. That's my default haircut." - Greta of How Was Your Day

"Well I have a shorter Mom cut, but I guess if I actually do it, it's not mine is longer in the front and layered in the back but if I don't style it I totally have a mom cut." - Amanda of the Frugal Greenish Mama

"Now the one I'm talking about has absolutely no layers - so it kinda looks like mushroom head" - Sarah of East 9th Street

Source: Pinterest

"I really really really love this girl's hair." - Greta of How Was Your Day

And from there I think we have it!

A Mom Haircut, different from "mom hair" of course, can be easily defined as a short, straight bob with or without bangs! 

What's your definition of a Mom Haircut? Do you have one? Is it really a Mom Haircut?

SD Mom's Night Out Fitness Event {San Diego Events}

It's here again! Another fabulous event from SD Mom's Night out!

SD Mom’s Night Out is partnering up with Xtend Barre Carmel Valley to provide an evening full of fun and fitness! The SD Mom's Night Out Fitness Event is the perfect way to gear up and get ready for summer while mixing and mingling with like-minded women.

The Xtend Barre Workout is the premier ballet barre workout…dance and Pilates amplified! The Xtend Barre philosophy is simple. They teach a multi-level class geared to challenge bodies of any age or fitness background. They offer exercises that can be modified for beginners, prenatal women or moms with injuries, but that can also be amplified for advanced moms that are looking for an extreme challenge.

And I cannot keep quiet about how awesome the raffles are at these events! Seriously... I've won at least one prize at every event. Might be because I purchase at least $20 in tickets but it all goes to a good cause!

Where: Xtend Barre Carmel Valley, 3422 Tripp Court San Diego, CA 92121

When: Friday, June 22nd from 7:00pm-9:30pm

Cost: $20 - Limited ticket availability - Only 40 spots available!

Tickets include:

• 1 full length Xtend Barre class ($23 value)
• Healthy and energizing snacks from Fresh and Easy
• Delicious treats from Nothing Bundt Cakes (We will have burned off enough calories to enjoy them!)
• Sample chiropractic treatments from Dr. Anna Phillips, D.C., A.R.T. Certified, M.S. with Action Chiropractic & Wellness.
• Face Mapping, Mini-Massages and Skin Consultations from Natural Skin Science The Spa
• 50% off “Skinny Shots” with Bloom Natural Health
• Drybar Swag Bag with products and services from Drybar, Natural Skin Science The Spa & Blink Energy Water.
• Raffle ticket for a chance to win:

• 1 month of unlimited classes at Xtend Barre Carmel Valley or Carlsbad ($230 Value)
• 1 month of unlimited spray, fun and spa services from iTan ($199 Value)
• 3 pack of blow outs from Drybar ($100 value)
• 2 tickets to any SD Mom’s Night Out event
• ART (Active Release Technique) consultation & treatment at Action Chiropractic & Wellness with Dr. Anna ($200 value)
• 5 pack of Skinny Shots from Bloom Natural Health ($150.00 Value)
• Plus more!
• 20% discounts on all merchandise at Xtend Barre, which includes Splits59 and other top fitness apparel lines!
• One Month Unlimited Membership at Xtend Barre for ONLY $75 when bought on the night of the event ($155 savings!)

Click here to purchase your tickets!

Traumatizing Bath Time

Last night as my son was taking a bath my daughter had a traumatic experience. And for a split second I became that mommy.

The one who'd rather run for the camera then run to save their kid.

After kicking me out of my bath, my son began his. I got dressed, grabbed a book, sat on the toilet and listened to him splash about while his sister watched him.

She doesn't like taking baths. Absolutely refuses to do so and just jumps in the shower with me when she needs to be bathed. She stands on the side of the tub and plays along with her brother as he is in the water and she stays dry.

After watching him play for a bit she decided to join in. She stepped up on the step stool we have next to the sink and started in. They're splashing around having a great time and I'm getting more and more into my book when all of a sudden I hear a big splash followed by a thud.  Oh my word! She fell in!

There she was, fully clothed and completely soaking wet. Crying in shock and looking at me like someone pushed her in. She had no clue how she ended in the tub and she wanted OUT!

And for just a second I almost ran for the camera instead of rescuing her.


I knew she wasn't hurt. And now I regret not taking a picture. Poor little girl. Great end to bath time though!

Do you have any funny bathroom stories? 

Two Too Many?

Sometimes I wonder if I'd been better off sticking with one child.

Don't get me wrong. I love both of my children with my whole heart, body, and soul. But sometimes I feel as if I'm gypping them of the mother I could be if I weren't pulled in so many different directions. If I only had the time and energy focused on one, and not both.

I fondly look back at that first year and a half with my son and wonder if our relationship would have been different if I waited to have a second child. Or just had one child. He was mine and my husband's whole world and I absolutely loved spending every single minute with him.

I felt like a good mother. A great mother some days.

When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter my son was only 13 months old. I was excited, nervous, and hormonal. But I knew I could handle it. If I was a good mother to one I could be a good mother to two, right?

I happily went along throughout the whole pregnancy with this idea that being a mother to two would be hard but doable. People do it all the time. They even have more than two kids. Why couldn't I? Friends and acquaintances made it look so easy.

And then my daughter was born.

I felt as if I couldn't figure out how to spend time with my son without having my daughter right there with us. The alone time I thought I'd get with him each week to continue building our relationship was focused on my daughter. With her lack of interest in the bottle I was basically "tied down" to her until she started solids. And even then we had issues since she didn't care much for purees and other foods.

My son started to bond more and more with my husband, mother-in-law, and aunt-in-law and he started needing me less. Our relationship really started to change and I wasn't his world anymore. I was the parent who took care of the crying baby. When he got hurt or needed anything his first reaction was to turn to my husband. And while normally I would have been overjoyed at this response, I took it as a silent stab at my heart. My son didn't want me.

But I moved past these feelings and continued to move forward. When my daughter was 6 months old I quit my 9-5 job and became a WAHM. Weekdays were just the three of us. I made sure to get out to playdates a few times a week, attempted to keep up with the housework, and tried to keep the kids on some sort of schedule.

But I was failing. 

Even though I wasn't working outside of the home anymore I felt as if I were being pushed into so many different directions that the basic needs of the family weren't being met. I felt like a bad mother. And I felt as if others could see it too. The good mother image I had when I only had one child was being replaced. With what? I wasn't sure exactly.

I didn't have many people to talk to and felt as if I were being shut out because of the image I created. Happy mother to one who could handle it all turned to over-scheduled, unavailable mother to two who shuts everyone out. And looking back on everything, the fact that I had no one to turn to was my own doing. I didn't put enough energy into the friendships and relationships I held so dear.

Maybe I just didn't want to feel as inadequate as I thought I was. I didn't want to see the perfection in others that I thought I should have. But in hindsight I realize that I was kidding myself to think that everyone else was perfect.

Throughout the past few months I've found myself trying to get back in touch with the person I once was. To find a balance in my life. But I keep coming to the realization that the balance I am craving just isn't going to happen. I need to find an alternative. And I know I've blogged about this before. Or maybe just talked about it with friends, but I feel as if I need to write this down. To be accountable for my feelings.

I've started to change the way I view a "good mother" and am working on trying to become a good mother once again. I just keep coming back to the thought that maybe I'm in over my head. Maybe two children are just too many.

I absolutely love my kids. As I've said before, they're my whole world now. And I know how precious this time I have with them is. However I think that I have cared too much about the mother image that I've grown lazy when it comes to actually being one.

I might have to add that I've written half of this post after having two glasses of wine so my words might not make as much sense as they do in my head. And my original concept for this post might have gone out the window with the second glass but...

Being a mother to two is nothing of what I thought it would be. I honestly thought that the ease in which I found motherhood the first time would reappear when I had my second. But adding a second kid is a whole other game altogether. And now I'm finding myself doubt my abilities a heck of a lot more.

I think maybe the focus on the image of motherhood and not the actuality of being a mother was where I went wrong. I heard about what a "good mother" I was from so many other people that I didn't want their image of me to change when I started to struggle. The front that I gave as a woman in control was just that, a front. And now I have to deal with reality.

And now as a bottle of wine has been emptied this post falls to an end. I will begin again tomorrow as a new week starts and I'll attempt to be the mother I wish I was. I will try to remember that the pressure I feel to be a good mother is only placed by myself, no one else. And if the pressure to be a good mother comes from anywhere else I'll just have to ignore it. And trust that my instincts as a mother are enough for my children. Both of them.

Are you a mother to two or more? Do you ever feel as if you're in over your head with two?

Case of the Mondays

Do you ever have a day that just, well, sucks?

That was totally me this Monday. I don't know what was going on but on Monday the universe hated me. Sure, I tried to make the best of it and moved forward but I'm still feeling the impact and not in a good way.

Monday started out like any other day. Woke up to my son rubbing my arm and my daughter slapping my chest asking to nurse. We got up, I made coffee and fixed breakfast, and logged in online to check email, facebook, work stuff, etc while the kids watched Curious George.

And what do I see as soon as I open my email? An email notifying me that an order I placed online was cancelled due to an item being out of stock. Why in the heck would an online retailer, in this internet-crazed world, not be able to update their site with the correct availability BEFORE emailing a great deal? When you email something to your subscribers you want them to buy, right?

So I just left it at that and won't be returning to purchase the item when it's in stock. 

Then there was a last minute change to our planned playdate due to the weather and I had to deal with an upset 3 year old and try to explain why we couldn't go play. That was easily resolved when I made other plans with another mama friend. 

Of course, as I'm trying to convince my son that it's not the end of the world and we'd be going to the park at the beach instead, my egg cups burned. Who wants burnt eggs for breakfast? Not my picky eaters!

Three for three and it wasn't even 8am. 

Then as we're headed out the door to make it to our new playdate my daughter decides it'd be a great time to put her shoe in the toilet. It was dirty and needed a bath, right?

We finally got into the car, fed, dressed (minus the soggy shoe), and ready for fun when my cell phone started acting up. Now this isn't the first time my stupid phone started going on the fritz. But since I wasn't familiar with getting to the park we were headed to I desperately needed the Maps app to work. And work correctly.

When you need technology it just isn't there for you, right? But I figured it out and made it to the park.

But we made the most of our day and enjoyed the beautiful weather at the beach. It was overcast, but warm, and the kids had a blast in the sand and water. They shared toys, snacks, and I shared a moment of peace with the other mamas as our kids happily played in front of us.

The worst part about my day, though? The fact that I gained 3lbs and was over my starting weight from two weeks ago. How in the heck did that happen? Oh, did I mention I was back on Weight Watchers again? I'll have to leave the weight loss for another post.

So even though the day started out like crap it wasn't as bad as it seemed as I was going through it.But I think it created a chain reaction. Needles to say, I can't wait for this week to be over! Luckily I'll end my week with Mamafest and Legoland. Good friends and family time. Perfection.

Have you ever had a case of the Mondays? 

Is it Time to Break Up?

Source

When do you know it's time to break up with a friend? 

I think many of us have been there before. For one reason or another we grow apart from those we once called friends. Lack of common interest, our lives and kids and husbands get in the way, or there's a falling out. The relationship becomes one-sided and you feel like you're just trying too hard without any reciprocity.

I haven't had much experience with breaking up with people. Boyfriends and friends alike.

I've either moved away, gotten another job, etc. It was an easy separation that required no further action. But I've always left doors open for reconnection in the future. However after feeling like a friend just isn't interested anymore, I think I need to do something further.

I've been left out, cancelled on, and ignored. But as soon as I forgive and forget I feel like I get sucked in just to get hurt all over again. And admittedly shed a few tears. I thought this was all left back in high school?

So I'm asking now, how do you break up with a friend?


Talking It Out
In the past I've had great luck approaching a friend and talking everything out. Sure, it was awkward as heck but I just had to remember that the other person might not even realize something's going on. So unless the issues are discussed, the real problem might just lie with the fact that I was over-analyzing everything.

However sometimes talking it out can lead to even more gaps in the relationship. The friend didn't understand where the feelings were coming from or they just didn't want to make more of an effort in the friendship for whatever reason. So if this doesn't mend things, it might be time to take more action. Or take no action at all. 


Avoiding Communication
So we've tried to talk it out and things just didn't work. What do we do next? The next step might just be to avoid all communication. The friend might be doing the same thing. Happy Hour plans are no longer made, invitations to parties are forgotten, Facebook statuses and blog posts are ignored.

But this just doesn't seem like the right thing to do. Discuss together and move on, right? Talk about it, bring up the issues, and come to a mutual and mature decision.


Cutting Out Completely
So talking it out didn't work and avoiding communication just isn't the key. Now we have to move forward and face the facts. Both sides aren't willing to put the effort needed to continue the relationship so it's time to cut ties completely.

Of course all of this can be done in a civil, respectful fashion. If mutual friends are involved then maybe the relationship gets bumped from friendship to acquaintance. It's not that bad, right? And the sheer fact that we meet so many people in our lives means that we have to realize that not every friendship will last and stay strong. And sometimes some friendships are only meant to teach us certain things. The friendships that really matter are the one's that will stick.

So what do you do when a friendship has fallen apart and you just need to end things? 

Disclaimer: If you're reading this blog post, this post isn't about you. I've already discussed the issues at hand with said friend and we're working things out for a mutual break.

Comparisons and Analogies

Today my son announced to me that he had to go to the restroom. He had to go poop.

So off we ran to the toilet.

And we sat... and waited... and sat... and waited. Until.

Plop!

"I did it, Mommy! I did it! I pooped in the potty. Can I see it?"

All of this in one breath. Without even pausing. So I wiped up and let him see it. And what was said after this is something I'll always remember...

"It's small, Mommy. Like my sister! My poop is small and my sister is small."

I hope she never hears that she was compared to the size of his poop.

Fearless Mommies

I have quite a few mommy friends in real life (IRL) and online. So I've seen and heard a lot of different situations when it comes to choices we as mothers make for our children. One of those choices is whether or not we breastfeed or formula feed our children. Now I've been blessed with the ability to breastfeed both of my children with only a few minor bumps in the road.

Breastfeeding was something that was very important to me. Even if I was only able to breastfeed for a few short days or weeks I was determined to try and get it right. I'm even seriously considering becoming a lactation consultant to help others on their breastfeeding journey. But I know that not everyone is as lucky as I have been in breastfeeding their babies. And for a myriad of reasons, some women cannot breastfeed.

Now I'm sure some reading are very passionate lactivists who think that women who cannot or choose not to breastfeed weren't "trying hard enough" or didn't try this or that solution. But what they don't know is that sometimes these women DID try everything under the sun to breastfeed. Others may have turned to formula feeding for other reasons, medication being a primary reason.

So I want to make sure that readers know that while breastfeeding has been a great decision for my family, it might NOT be for everyone. And you know what? That's OK. We as mothers should not judge other mothers for the decisions they've made (as I've said in the past) and we shouldn't force our beliefs on those around us simply because we feel like we're right.

And with all of this rambling I do have a point to this post! I wanted to introduce my readers to a blog I follow and a person I respect and love, The Fearless Formula Feeder.  I think the description in the title of her blog says it all, "Standing up for formula feeders, without being a boob about it." So if you have turned to formula as a way to feed your child and need a little support I think this blog is a great resource.

There is also a weekly segment called FFF Fridays where formula feeding moms share their stories about formula feeding. Recently the FFF posted that she was running low on FFF Friday entries so I'm posting to ask if you have a story to share, please send it along to formulafeeders@gmail.com. I am sure that she, and other moms, will appreciate it!

Lack of Fashion

Source

I know that I don't have much fashion sense. I usually wear frumpy "mom" clothes most of the time that either don't fit right or don't follow what's "in" with the current trend. I'm not trendy in anyway and usually shop clearance racks for random pieces instead of buying full outfits. But I'm trying to change. I'm trying to learn more about fashion and how dress more for my body type.


At times its hard though because I'm trying to lose weight and I keep thinking, "But what if I am only in these pants for the next two months? Or less?" I don't want to spend a good amount of money on clothes if I can't wear them in the near future. So I hold off and buy things that pass for decent in public and instead pick the more comfortable clothes that'll get me through the in-between stage (you know... inbetween one size and another?). And that gives me quite the interesting selection of clothes in my closet. Pair that with the fact that I hate doing laundry, well... I hate folding and putting away laundry, and you get a look that screams not put together.

I think that my lack of knowledge in fashion is not only affecting me but it's also starting to reflect on my daughter. Sure, she's only 10 months old, but she is so personable and adorable and she deserves to have that shown in the clothes she wears as well. We received boxes and boxes of hand-me-down clothes for both children but I'm finding that it was much easier to dress my son then it is to dress my daughter. Most days I am clueless in what to dress her in.

I think one of the biggest reasons (besides my lack of fashion) is because we didn't purchase outfits, we received pieces of outfits in the boxes that were given to us. And I am all for hand-me-downs. Being blessed to have such loving and caring friends who gave us so much is something I truly am grateful for. But the flower jeans don't have the cute shirt that matches and the adorable brown hat doesn't go with any of the other outfits in her drawer. So she wears that brown hat with something that doesn't go with it because, well, she needs a hat.

And when we go out to playdates with other friends I'm always second guessing what I put her in. Wondering if the other moms are thinking the same thing... what was I thinking? And if I'm being judged for what I wear and what I dress my daughter in. I mean, I don't think I've ever judged another mom for what they dress their kids in before (that I remember) but I know I've judged others for what they've dressed in to go out in public. Maybe it's no big deal to some, and in the scheme of things it really isn't, but I really want to start learning more about how to dress my daughter. That way when she's older she cant come back and blame me for any horrible baby pictures she may find.

Not everything is about fashion or the way we dress but in this world we live in your appearance does matter. I will teach my children to love what is inside and will try to raise them to be good, kind people but I know that they will also be judged for how they look and what they appear like on the outside. Hopefully my poor judgement won't harm them too much...

Do you worry about what your appearance says to others or are you confident in how you dress? Do you have any advice for me about gaining some fashion sense? Or fashion sense for my daughter? I'd love to hear your comments!

Terrible Twos Lead to the Terrific Threes, Right?

This weekend my son was helping Daddy up on the hill. They're working on making room for a planter box so that they can start growing fun stuff like squash and pumpkin. (Side note: This is my husband's project. I am not interjecting with any opinions about the fact that they're working on this at the end of summer and might not get any results. They're bonding together and that's what counts.) During the fun of digging and playing in the dirt my son got the fun idea to start putting toys and trash in the post holes they were digging. My husband told him not to do it and gave him a warning. If he did it one more time he'd get a time out.

Well, as any testing toddler would do, he did it again. And he was promptly brought in by Daddy who told him that he was going on time out for putting another toy down the hole and not listening to Daddy. My son sat down as told and started telling my husband something a few seconds later. My husband kept on trying to figure out what he was saying and after about half a minute finally figured it out. "Timer go off, Daddy?" my son was asking him.

He knew that when we go on time out we have to sit down until the timer goes off. Daddy forgot. But my son is smart (at least I think so ;)) and was reminding Daddy that the timer needed to be set so he would know when to get up. So Daddy set the timer for a minute since more than a minute had passed and E was insisting on having the timer. When the timer went off, my husband explained again why E was on time out and asked that he not throw toys down the hole. E happily got up, nodded in agreement and started playing again.

Now I am not sure if time outs are doing what they're supposed to be doing (I'm assuming this is correcting the behavior by negative reinforcement, right? Taking his freedom away for doing what he's not supposed to?). Because sometimes he'll push again and again and do the same thing he was just put on time out for. But deep down I know that this time out is not only for him but for us too.

Sometimes I get very upset at my son's actions and react in a not so nice way by raising my voice and grabbing him to put him in time out instead of walking him over or telling him to walk over himself. I feel my blood start to boil sometimes and feel my face get flush. That's when I know that the time out is not only going to help our son learn but will help me take a break and gain my cool again. I try and give myself mini time outs throughout the day. 10 seconds, 30 seconds, whatever I need. Because if I don't get that time to cool off I am afraid I might react without thinking and tap his butt. So with the help of time outs I hope that I am teaching my son that we do have boundaries and those boundaries are enforced.  

Here are the steps we follow to insure that time-outs in our house are always the same and are (almost) always successful:

Warning
When E does something he's not supposed to we give him a warning and let him know if he does it again he will get a time out. If he does that action again we do not give another warning, we put him on time out (or if we told him we'd leave... we'd leave. Especially if he's just bitten a kid.)

Explaining
As we walk E to the time out rug/spot we explain to him why he's on time out, how long he will be on time out for, and what we would like him to do when he gets up from time out. That can range from being nicer with his hands to saying sorry and giving his sister a kiss for throwing a toy.

Timer
E knows that his time outs are two minutes. In an effort to make sure he understands that time is passing and that his time out will come to an end after that two minutes is up we set the kitchen timer. He knows he cannot get up off the rug until the timer goes off.

Re-Explaining
After the timer goes off we make sure to tell him why he was on time out again. And we ask him to tell us why he was on time out too. Most of the time he says "I don't know". But I know if he can remember that the timer needs to be set for two minutes then he knows why he was on time out.

If he continues to do what he is doing and a time out isn't working I will usually tell him he needs to go to bed. I go into his room, close the blinds, put him on top of his covers, take away the tv (yes... my 2 year old has his own tv... talk to his dad), and close the door. I don't return for 5 minutes. That gives me time to cool down and him time to forget what he was doing wrong so he doesn't do it again. Sometimes I feel like locking him in his room for the whole day but I think he probably wouldn't mind that.

Do you have any great tips on how to react to kids pushing boundaries? Please feel free to share :)

My Weight Loss Journey through Miscarriage, Pregnancy and Breastfeeding

Now I know I've posted about losing weight and being on Weight Watchers before but I looked back and didn't see any recent posts on my goals and my progress thus far. So I thought I'd update the blog with my journey and progress.

When I first started Weight Watchers after gaining 30 or so pounds after my miscarriage I felt strong. I felt like I was finally in control of my body, and more importantly, my emotions. I lost almost 25 pounds and a little over 10% of my weight. I was on the right track. Then I found out I was pregnant with E. And even though I was so happy to be pregnant, I was also a little resentful because I really wanted to get to my goal weight before starting a family. I wanted to be healthy before I brought a little one into our family.

And then I had my beautiful baby boy and the weight didn't matter. Sure I went back to Weight Watchers right away at 6 weeks post partum to begin the journey again but that didn't last long. It took until E was 10 or 11 months old before I finally jumped back on and got serious. When I started again I was nervous. Nervous that adding exercise and losing weight would somehow affect my milk supply. I would push myself too much and wouldn't be able to be successful in nursing my baby. So I quit. And waited till I was comfortable enough with a. being a mom and b. starting to work on myself again.

And if you know me you know what happened next. After 3-4 short months back on track I got pregnant. Again. Thus began the process all over again. Once M was 8 weeks old I felt strong enough to start the Weight Watchers journey again.

I officially started Weight Watchers again on January 31st, 2011. And since then (25 weeks/6 months have past) I've lost 16.6 pounds. This time around  I have no worries about my milk supply being affected. I was in it for the long haul and had the resources (and confidence) I needed to continue breastfeeding.

I am losing on average about 2/3rds of a pound a week. And I'm pretty darn certain that the reason why I am losing this way is because I am breastfeeding. My body is just holding on to everything. It doesn't want to let go. So in order to get a jump start on this next phase of weight loss I've joined the YMCA (after a bit of a breakdown with E in the midst of his awesome two-year-old attitude - might have had something to do with our potty training fun) and am now getting to the gym about 4-6 times a week! And wouldn't you know? My supply hasn't been affected in the least!

Even though I'm exercising regularly and getting back on track I still don't feel successful yet. I haven't seen the change I've wanted for myself and my body. So as I just posted I'm going to invest in a few shapers like Yummie Tummie products to make my body do what I want it to do for now until I start to feel better in my body again. That way I still feel confident in my body enough to continue this journey until I reach my goal.

I am open to any and all suggestions to further aid my weight loss journey. If you've set a goal or created a plan I'd love to hear it! I think that Weight Watchers is the easiest program for me to follow but if there are any snack or meal suggestions please pass them on :) And I'd love to hear about your journey too! Support is something that has been key in this journey for me. 

I'll leave you with the most recent family photo (from Ms 6 Month mini-session) by the wonderful Tessa of Grin & Share It Photography... you won't be seeing that round face again! I hope I look just as fabulous for M's 1 Year photos as I did for E's :)

It Aint Always Rosy {Naptime}

Just about every mommy or parenting book out there says basically the same thing about naps. They're important. And routine/nap schedules are key to a happy child. So if your child takes two naps a day you should make sure that they take those naps in the same place (or similar) at the same time daily. No alterations should be made so that they have the optimum environment for peaceful sleeping. And NO letting them sleep where distractions are bound to wake them up.

Try abiding by these rules when you have an infant who takes two (and sometimes three) naps and a toddler who takes one nap usually at alternating times. You'd get one grumpy toddler who's cooped up at home because their sibling is sleeping during playtime. Enter our routine. In order to make everyone happy I've tried my best to work around this situation. And I think it works... for us.

We only do playdates in the mornings. That way M gets a cat nap before we leave (or while we're out) and can take a longer nap when we come home and her brother naps. Staying home in the afternoons is no big deal since it's getting hotter and hotter at that time. Now I'm trying to get E to nap later in the day so we can align the two naptimes together and Mommy can get some solid alone time to get work done.  You know... the cleaning, dinner prep, internet surfing, and work. Oh, did I let that third one slip? Mama needs some mindless entertainment too!

When M was taking multiple naps a day (read: more than two) I wouldn't just stay home and let her sleep. She'd get her sleep in the car, in the ergo or in the stroller so her brother could go to playdates with his friends. I figured as long as she was getting at least some sleep she'd be good, right? Our plan seemed to be working.

Well now that she's on two naps a day I am constantly resisting the urge to just stay home all day and let her sleep. Some days she gets only one good nap a day and others she gets woken up way before she can get a decent amount of sleep. It gets me wondering what really is best. A toddler who is happy and well socialized or an infant who has her solid, peaceful rest.

And then I have to also mention the fact that M still naps in her swing when we're home. Or on me. We still haven't attempted another go at getting her to sleep in the crib and I have been putting off letting her sleep in our bed like E did at this age because I don't want her to get used to it. So I think I'm kind of setting myself up for failure. I need to just bite the bullet and start working on a naptime routine where both kids are sleeping in their rooms (don't worry, E has that one down after 2+ years).

It Aint Always Rosy {Potty Training}

So I had the perfect plan. I was going to do the 3 Day Potty Training e-book method and E was going to be potty trained. Easy as that. We read the e-book. I stocked up on underwear, treats and prizes. And I talked to E the whole time about how he was such a big boy now that he was 2 and big boys pee pee and poo poo in the potty. He showed signs of readiness as early as 18 months old and fit the list of "readiness" checks that almost every potty training book/article highlighted. So it would have to be easy, right? I mean, yeah, he also had a new baby sister but that wasn't anything big.

The weekend of training seemed to be a success. By the third day he was saying "pee pee" before he had to go and was going on the toilet. And even when we started going out and running errands he stayed dry and successful. He really seemed to pick up on it and get it fast. I was definitely proud of my boy.

Then somewhere between 2-3 months into being potty trained he seemed to regress. Not every day. Maybe an accident every 2-3 days. Usually it was just when he was busy playing or outside running around. Then about a month or two ago it started getting worse. And by worse I mean 4-5 accidents in a row after sitting and going a little on the potty. I got so worried I had the doctor check him out because he said that his penis hurt. I was worried that he may have a UTI or something.

All tests came back clear and nothing was wrong with him. And I just realized he just didn't care. Seriously. He lost interest in going potty on the toilet. So I tried something new. I downloaded a potty chart and got some stickers. I told him if he told mommy he had to go potty then he got a sticker. When he filled up a row he got a prize and when he filled up the whole chart we would go to the store and he could pick out anything he wanted (within reason of course).

And he lost interest after a day. He just didn't care. I would ask him to tell me when he had to go pee pee every 1/2 an hour. And literally 1-2 minutes after I asked and he said no he'd turn around, look at me and pee his pants. He'd also start to run away from me when I told him to tell me he had to go and would pee in a corner. I was losing patience and losing it fast.

About two weeks ago Joseph came home to me in tears. I had had enough. I broke down and put a diaper on E. Told him that if he wanted to pee in his underwear like a baby then he'd have to wear a diaper like a baby. He cried and said no when I put it on. I told him that if he kept the diaper dry and told me when he had to go potty then I'd put his underwear back on him.

I came and asked again in 1/2 an hour if he wanted to try and go potty and he said, "No, I go in diaper." I about blew a fuse. I was so upset. But I had Molly in my arms and didn't want to get upset with him so I said, "Ok, then we'll have to change you into another diaper." He replied with a simple OK and didn't resist me putting a diaper on him. After this horrible day I regained focus and decided to move forward with underwear.

The next day Ethan had no accidents. We started putting stickers for when he went potty AND giving him a choice of a marshmallow or gummy penguin (Trader Joe's) treat every time he went on the potty. I started to realize that even though he long ago learned how to hold his pee for a few hours that he was releasing only a little bit at a time when I sat him down and than peeing a little in his underwear and pants a little later on. So I started to ask him to try and get all the pee pee out when he sat down on the potty.

It was working. No accidents for two more days. But he still won't tell me when he has to go. He'll just go try whenever I ask him if he will tell me he has to go. I pray for the day that he starts telling me again. It will be much easier than me remembering every 1/2-1 hour. I've also started driving around with a potty in the trunk. Just in case.

I pray that it gets easier from here but highly doubt it. I never realized how strong willed he was until we began this journey. I know we'll have regressions again. And I will need to work on controlling myself instead of giving in to his rebellion. Because really it's just that. He's trying to figure out how much he can push. What I'll give into and what he can get away with. I'm definitely not giving in. I have 25 years on him, right?

It Aint Always Rosy {Breastfeeding}

Breastfeeding

I have had a fairly easy time breastfeeding. My children, from the start, had a great latch and breastfed well. And they seemed to really enjoy breastfeeding. There was not something I did, or read, to allow for this. It really was just the right combination of everything that allowed me to continue to breastfeed with ease. And because it was so easy for me I just kept going.

I had to introduce a bottle to my son fairly early on. When he was only two days old I was told I had to supplement with formula until my milk came in due to jaundice. He had no problem taking the bottle and nipple confusion was non-existent. He took a pacifier, he breastfed and he took the bottle. It was pretty awesome. Then he gave up the pacifier at 9 months. And only wanted me to soothe him. It was hard. But we got through it. And now, even though I am not breastfeeding him anymore, he still rubs my arm to soothe himself.

When my daughter was born I just assumed she would take a bottle as well. Trying to figure out our lives after we brought her home we just forgot about the whole bottle thing until I started pumping when she was about 3-4 weeks old. I wanted to start a freezer stash for when I went back to work so I started pumping once in the morning. I asked my husband to give her the bottle when I was out for a bit one evening and came back to a screaming child. She had refused to take anything from the bottle.

We thought it was a fluke. So we continued trying every few days and she never seemed to take anything from the bottle. I was starting to get worried when my return date for work fast approached. The day before I was scheduled to come back to work I tried the bottle again. And she took 1.5 ounces!!! I was relieved. And I happily left her with my husband for the day. And she didn't take anything from him so he ended up coming to me at lunch for her to nurse. And so it continued.

The two days I worked she would hold out until my husband, mother-in-law and aunt-in-law brought her to me. I couldn't handle it any longer and decided we would be better off if I was home with her 100% of the time until we could focus on other foods for her main source of nutrition (solids are not the main form of nutrition for infants until they hit 12 months, formula or breast milk should still be the main portion of their diet). So I have actually quit my job to feed my child.

I don't know what would have happened if things didn't go well with breastfeeding from the start. I really didn't have a large support group of lactivists around me when I came home with my son. Sure there was the friendly internet but I didn't feel like I had a buddy right next to me whom I could confide in for help. I think I felt more of the opposite. Those around me were more willing to encourage me to throw in the towel and start formula. I'm not sure if I'd push forward and seek the help I might need if I did need assistance or if I had problems I couldn't figure out the answers for.

I now know that I need to be more open about my knowledge of breastfeeding, my experiences and the research I've done. I want new mothers to feel empowered, not scared to admit that it isn't as easy as everyone makes it to be. I want new mothers who run into problems to know that if they truly want to exhaust all resources before throwing in the towel then there's someone here for them to help them along the way. I also want new mothers to know that they AREN'T horrible parents if they choose to formula feed. That is their personal choice and no matter what the story is behind it they should not be chastised or feel bad about their choice.

It Aint Always Rosy {Co-Sleeping}

Co-Sleeping

From the first night I brought my son home I really had no idea how the sleeping thing would work. I mean I had an idea that he'd eventually sleep in a crib. Cause all babies sleep in cribs, right? But I had the pack n' play set up in our room for at least the first few nights. I had heard that it would be easier for me to sleep if he was in the room with us. Especially if we were breastfeeding.

So we came home. And my baby slept in my arms. Literally in my arms. I slept sitting up those first few nights. I really didn't feel like I could put that little angel down. He was so tiny. How was he going to sleep without being right with me. Maybe it was just because he was a part of me for so long and I didn't want to let that go.

Then because we were successful in breastfeeding I just kept him in our bed at night because it was so much easier than the thought of actually having to get out of bed and get up in the middle of the night. Plus he was a pretty good sleeper and hardly woke up to nurse when he was hungry. None of this hours of no sleep. He'd wake up, fuss a bit, nurse and fall back to sleep. I didn't know why everyone else said they were so exhausted during the newborn stage.

And I started feeling a bit weird about still having him in bed with us. So I tried to transition him to the crib. I guess I didn't try hard enough. I read that starting with naps first might be the best way to go. So I would put him in his crib once he nursed himself to sleep (or I rocked him to sleep). But he always seemed to wake up 1/2 an hour or less later. That didn't seem right. So after a few naps like this I went back to having him nap in our bed or in his swing. 1-2 hours... much better!

I would try to transition him every few weeks but he never seemed to want to stay in his crib long. He much preferred our bed. What I didn't realize was that I was hardly helping him in this transition. When he was younger I didn't really put him down. Ever. So he got used to needing me to soothe him to sleep. So I just gave up on the crib and said we were going to co-sleep. Then he started getting bigger. And my husband didn't feel comfortable in bed anymore. He'd wake up with a foot in his back and only five inches of bed to lay on. I understood and started looking into alternatives.

So at 15 months our son transitioned from our bed to his own twin bed. In his room. And it worked great for the first few days. He napped perfectly in there. And would call out to me to pick him up when he woke. Nights were a bit different. He would sleep until 3am and then would wake and call for me. I'd either bring him into bed with us or fall asleep with him in his bed.

Today he sleeps in his room. But he usually ends up crawling in bed with us at around 3am. And even with the second one I never quite figured out how to transition an infant to the crib. I did get a co-sleeper though so I try and remember to put our daughter in there for 1/2 of the night. And I promise I'll try better to transition her to the crib. Maybe...

It Aint Always Rosy {Being a Mom}

A friend of mine and I got to talking one day. About life. And kids. And how jealous we get of each other. Not necessarily jealous, no, that's no the right word, but how inadequate we felt about ourselves as moms when we started to compare how we mother, how we live and how quickly (or slowly) our children accomplished milestones to how others are doing it. It got me thinking how many other friends feel this way. How many other girlfriends who don't really see the "real" me.

You see... I'm far from a perfect mom (big surprise there). I do think that some of this mothering thing really did come naturally. I truly feel that some part of our ability to be a mom is innate. So I may make certain things look natural but what you don't know is that I am really good at keeping things in. And failing to mention other things.

I get angry with my son. And sometimes even with my infant daughter who can't even speak yet. I raise my voice. I tap little hands when they pinch or hit. And sometimes I yell and get mad when he sits in front of me and pees his pants on purpose even though every book I've read tells me it's not the right thing to do. My son eats french fries when we go out for lunch or dinner. Sometimes he doesn't get one vegetable in him. And sometimes I forget to give him breakfast (bad mom right there!).

My parenting style is not reflective of one book or one belief. It's an accumulation of many different influences and what feels right. Sometimes it's just what feels right at that moment. And sometimes what "feels right" is choosing the easiest choice for that time. Following the path of least resistance.

What's funny is that all of mine and my husband's major choices in parenting seem to make us (me) look pretty crunchy. I breastfeed, We co-sleep, I baby-wear, I make our children's food (for the most part), I didn't sleep train (might consider it with the second) and try not to let my child cry for long. But what these choices in parenting don't show is why I do all of these things. And to tell you the truth the answer is that I do most of these things out of convenience.

So I'm going to break down the different aspects of my "parenting style" for you this week. Give you a little inside look to my choices and decisions as a parent. Feel free to ask questions, point out my flaws, share your parenting style and over all feel better about how you parent (or how you're going to do everything better when you do parent) because you shouldn't feel bad about how you're doing it.

As long as your kids are happy, healthy and fed I'm sure you're doing a great job!

If You Give A Mom A Muffin

A friend of mine shared this with me and I thought it too cute (and true) to pass up so I wanted to pass it on...

If You Give A Mom A Muffin

If you give a Mom a muffin, she’ll want a cup of coffee to go with it.

She’ll pour herself some. Her three year old will spill the coffee. She’ll wipe it up.

Wiping the floor, she’ll find dirty socks. She’ll remember she has to do laundry.

When she puts the laundry in the washer, she’ll trip over boots and bump into the freezer.

Bumping into the freezer will remind her she has to plan for supper.

She will get out a pound of hamburger. She’ll look for her cook book (101 things to do with a pound of hamburger)

The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail. She will see the phone bill, which is due tomorrow.

She will look for her checkbook.The check book is in her purse that is being dumped out by her two year old.

She’ll smell something funny. She’ll change the two year old’s diaper.

While she is changing the diaper, the phone will ring. Her five year old will answer and hang up.

She’ll remember she wants to phone a friend for coffee.

Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup.

And chances are, if she has a cup of coffee, her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it.


Original Author Unknown*

* If you know who originated this please let me know and I'll be more than happy to give them credit!

Spa Social @ Spa La Costa with San Diego MOMfia

Last night was an evening filled with friends, food and fun! I had been looking forward to a relaxing time away with friends (while meeting new ones) ever since my friend, Natalie, told me about this event. She always hooks me up with the fun parties and good times. I think its cause she loves me :) I love her right back. Friends are awesome that way.

So I left the babes home with Joseph and started on my journey to Spa La Costa at the La Costa Resort and Spa. And I hit traffic. I HATE traffic. Seriously. It can give me hives if i get too worked up. And idiot drivers + traffic... Don't even get me started. Yes, I know I have a problem. I'm working on it.

An hour later I was there. Walking the grounds of the resort was awesome. It was so beautiful and peaceful. Once I got to the spa I was greeted with smiles and champagne. What more could a girl ask for? A few minutes later I started getting texts from my friends saying they were arriving as well.

"Likeable" Lobster & Crab Salad Sammies

Once we all got changed into bathing suits and robes we made our way over to get hand treatments and sip a glass of champagne before drooling over the app spread and dessert table (no pictures of that, sadly). The pampering was perfect for a night of facebooking (Is that what it's called? Maybe just networking?), tweeting, eating and drinking. We got a quick picture of everyone in their robes and made our way to the food line. They had the most adorable little appetizers for us with some social networking savvy names.


We enjoyed some kobe beef sliders with cheddar and grilled onions, lobster & crab salad rolls, seared ahi tuna with aioli, hummus topped with duck, and chocolate covered strawberries paired with bellinis. Does that not sound delicious? It was hard not to go back for more again and again. Tasty and perfect.

More delicious food!

While we sat down to eat we breathed in and enjoyed what was around us. Not only did the grounds look phenomenal they smelled fantastic as well. There were beautiful flowers and shrubs all around us and the fragrance of the plants added to the perfect night.

We chatted, hunted for eggs (the winning eggs were good for fabulous prizes), answered trivia for a chance to win some more prizes and enjoyed the beautiful San Diego evening. It was a great event and a great opportunity to enjoy our city and all that it has to offer. Thank you, San Diego MOMfia and Spa La Costa, for the fabulous night. 

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"That Kid"

So my two year old was "that kid" on the playground yesterday. You know... the kid who BITES other kids who try and take what he's playing with? Yeah, that kid. And I was totally judged for it.

E has recently taken to hitting, kicking and pinching other kids. Sometimes because they take something from him, other times for no apparent reason at all. I've been told it's their age. I pray he grows out of it fast... 

Whenever this happens and I catch it (or am told about it) I react the same way. I tell him he cannot hit/kick/pinch/bite his friends and that because he did so he has to sit on time out. I give him a 60 second time out in which I count to 60 while he sits down in a time out area away from other kids. After the time out is over I explain to him again why he was on time out and tell him he has to say sorry to the person he hurt. He usually does this with no prompting other than for me to tell him to say sorry and even adds a hug in the end (if he hurts Joseph or me he usually kisses the place that got hurt).

So yesterday we were at the zoo and E was playing at the Children's Zoo playground. A few minutes earlier a child kicked him in the face. He started crying but I couldn't quite get to him since I had Molly in my arms and he was up in the play structure. Another mom assured me her husband was up there and would bring him to me. Thank God for the help of other parents! Turns out the mom and dad helping us out were also the mom and dad of the little girl who kicked E.

I consoled him, asked him what happened and he just said "knee hurt" so I kissed it hugged him a bit more and let him go on his way. A few seconds later I see a little girl run up to our stroller and say "sorry baby" and than I heard her father say "I think it was our daughter who kicked your son, she'd like to say sorry." I told him it wasn't a problem, and called E over so the little girl could apologize. I than looked at her mom and said, "It's totally the age, no big deal."

Then a few minutes later I heard a scream in Ethan's area. He was playing with a periscope type toy that swiveled and a little boy had put his arms and body in between E and the toy trying to take a turn. I guess my child decided at that moment that he may be a cannibal and just went in for the bite. The mother of the child raced over and I walked over as well. The little boy cried out that E bit him and sure enough there was a bite mark on his arm.

I picked E up out of the area and told him that we didn't bite other children and that he needed to go on time out and apologize to the little boy and that after that we had to go home because we don't bite other children at the zoo. I apologized to the mother before I went to take E to a quiet spot. She than proceeded to give me ugly stares while getting out her antibacterial wipes to wipe the superficial "wound". As soon as 60 seconds were up E raced over and said "I sorry, no bite" to the little boy and than said "hug?" and hugged him.

We packed everything up and headed to the exit. The whole time we packed up to leave the mom (and her mommy friends) gave me dirty looks. I don't understand that. Her kid had to be either the same age or older. Hadn't she experienced this in some way or another before? I'm pretty darn sure that my kid isn't the only one who bites/kicks/hits other kids at this age and I'm also pretty sure it wasn't a malicious act. Your kid was trying to take something from my kid. And yes, my kid should share but still... it's the age!

I don't understand the nasty, blatant judgment. Sure it wasn't verbal but the reaction to the situation and the glances I received definitely showed her opinion of me and my child. When another child hurts my kid I try my best to not show my initial reaction because more likely than not it's not very nice. Sure, in the heat of the moment, I think bad things since they just hurt my child but they're kids! If it was a 5 year old beating up on a two year old, that's one thing. But it's usually the 2-3 year age group that my child hangs out with so we all kinda know that this happens.

So how would you react? How have you reacted in the past? Did I do something wrong? I really don't think I did in either situation.