Do you ever get jealous of your friends?

And then she said...

Do you ever get jealous of your friends? For having other friends?

You know... you're hanging out, chatting, enjoying the company. And then the conversation turns to, "My friend Samantha and I were at dinner the other night and were talking about the same thing" or "Audrey and I headed to a movie last weekend and LOVED what we saw! You have to check it out sometime."

Throughout your conversations with your friends these other people keep popping up. And that twinge of jealousy pops its ugly head. Why didn't I get an invite to dinner? I would have loved to see that movie too!

It's just natural to feel this way, right?

People we know are bound to have other relationships. It's just inevitable. We're social by nature. But sometimes hearing about the fun one is always having with another friend can get a bit tiring to hear. Then thoughts about if the other friend is more fun or easier to hang out with pop up.

Am I a good enough friend? Do I have to compete?

No, silly. It's not a competition. And your friend probably doesn't even realize that you are upset or jealous. Because, you know, you didn't tell them!  And there really is no reason to tell them unless it's causing friction in your relationship.

We just have to get over it and realize that there is a LOT more going on in life to worry about little things like this. Because really, in the grand scheme of life, it's not a big deal. Jealousy is natural as long as we don't allow it to consume us and it comes in small doses.

Then that day comes. The day you meet the other friend. And you realize why your friend likes them so much. So much so that you want to be their friend too.

These exact feelings and emotions are being felt by our children as well once they hit a certain age. Whether it be their school friends, neighborhood friends, church friends. They too can feel as you do sometimes. So remember to keep an open dialogue with them, talk to them about how they're feeling, and let them know that you feel this way sometimes as well. 

It might be nice to hear that they aren't the only ones going through this type of jealousy. That it's normal.

How do you deal with jealousy between friends? Between your child(ren)s friends? 

Is it Time to Break Up?

Source

When do you know it's time to break up with a friend? 

I think many of us have been there before. For one reason or another we grow apart from those we once called friends. Lack of common interest, our lives and kids and husbands get in the way, or there's a falling out. The relationship becomes one-sided and you feel like you're just trying too hard without any reciprocity.

I haven't had much experience with breaking up with people. Boyfriends and friends alike.

I've either moved away, gotten another job, etc. It was an easy separation that required no further action. But I've always left doors open for reconnection in the future. However after feeling like a friend just isn't interested anymore, I think I need to do something further.

I've been left out, cancelled on, and ignored. But as soon as I forgive and forget I feel like I get sucked in just to get hurt all over again. And admittedly shed a few tears. I thought this was all left back in high school?

So I'm asking now, how do you break up with a friend?


Talking It Out
In the past I've had great luck approaching a friend and talking everything out. Sure, it was awkward as heck but I just had to remember that the other person might not even realize something's going on. So unless the issues are discussed, the real problem might just lie with the fact that I was over-analyzing everything.

However sometimes talking it out can lead to even more gaps in the relationship. The friend didn't understand where the feelings were coming from or they just didn't want to make more of an effort in the friendship for whatever reason. So if this doesn't mend things, it might be time to take more action. Or take no action at all. 


Avoiding Communication
So we've tried to talk it out and things just didn't work. What do we do next? The next step might just be to avoid all communication. The friend might be doing the same thing. Happy Hour plans are no longer made, invitations to parties are forgotten, Facebook statuses and blog posts are ignored.

But this just doesn't seem like the right thing to do. Discuss together and move on, right? Talk about it, bring up the issues, and come to a mutual and mature decision.


Cutting Out Completely
So talking it out didn't work and avoiding communication just isn't the key. Now we have to move forward and face the facts. Both sides aren't willing to put the effort needed to continue the relationship so it's time to cut ties completely.

Of course all of this can be done in a civil, respectful fashion. If mutual friends are involved then maybe the relationship gets bumped from friendship to acquaintance. It's not that bad, right? And the sheer fact that we meet so many people in our lives means that we have to realize that not every friendship will last and stay strong. And sometimes some friendships are only meant to teach us certain things. The friendships that really matter are the one's that will stick.

So what do you do when a friendship has fallen apart and you just need to end things? 

Disclaimer: If you're reading this blog post, this post isn't about you. I've already discussed the issues at hand with said friend and we're working things out for a mutual break.